New Gay in Town: Rebuilding. Rebounding.

By Branden Lee

I took my breakup with EMT really hard. It’s one thing if a guy dumps me for being too dramatic or too psycho, that I can understand. But it really cuts to the core hearing a guy tell you he wants to be with someone else. Though it is a bit easier to move on from a guy when you learn you aren’t his first choice. There’s no hope of reconnecting or even wanting him back after that. Tell me you want to be with someone else, then bye. It hurts, but I definitely won’t want you back.

One of my best friends had a guy he was seeing dump him to pursue someone else. The guy came crawling back after things didn’t work out with the guy he chose. My friend was always full of paranoia and doubt about the relationship, since he always felt like a second choice. Eventually they broke up. I don’t think I could give a guy another chance after they left me for someone else, because I never want to always know I wasn’t their first choice.

Although I was devastated over being dumped, I wasn’t going to mope around. I had to jump back into the dating world. Not that I hadn’t already been hooking up with other guys while seeing EMT. EMT and I were never official. I could hookup with whoever I wanted.

First I went out to dinner with a guy visiting from LA. He was in town for a GLBT organization conference. We went out and grabbed a drink at The Eagle, before getting dinner at Mary Mac’s Tea Room.

The guy was nice, though I wasn’t really into him. He was also engaged but in an open relationship. My date was a big, black, 30 something year old bear, engaged to a younger white cub. Although his fiance was white, my date kept going on about how much he loves black men and wanted to get with as many as possible in Atlanta. I found it off putting. I reluctantly went back to his hotel after dinner, and he obviously wanted to hookup. I wasn’t in the mood. We chatted, cuddled, but I knew I wasn’t putting out. So I left.

The next guy I met up with we just chilled and smoked hookah at his place. It was a much more enjoyable encounter than the previous guy. I wanted to throw myself back into dating and random hookups, but the truth is I wasn’t that ready to put myself out there like that. I enjoyed just having someone to talk to with no sexual tension. It was nice to have a chill, relaxing encounter, and being able to open up to someone.

The next night I  was home and horny. I invited a random over, that I’d previously chatted with on Growlr. There’s a reason why our convos never lead to meeting, something seemed off about him. He was too aggressive, and kept trying to stick his dick in me raw. I made it clear I didn’t want to do anal, especially not without a condom. I didn’t come to Atlanta to get HIV. I had enough of him, and kicked him out.

The next day I went on a date. I wasn’t into him either. None of these rebound guys were clicking for me. I just didn’t feel any attraction, interest, or chemistry with anyone. I did feel a bit broken after the breakup. It’s hard to trust and open up to guys, when you feel like you’ve been lied to for an entire month thinking you were entering a relationship, only to be dumped because they’ve been plotting to get back with their ex while seeing you. Talk about trust issues.

After my bad date, I invited a guy over I’d been chatting with on Jack’d. I was originally planning on doing a quickie before heading to the club. He told me he wasn’t a quickie kinda guy, which I found sweet. I invited him over, and wasn’t expecting much. Sometimes the encounters you have the lowest expectations for turn out to be the best.

New Gay in Town: Rebuilding. Rebounding.

I took my breakup with EMT really hard. It’s one thing if a guy dumps me for being too dramatic or too psycho, that I can understand. But it really cuts to the core hearing a guy tell you he wants to be with someone else. Though it is a bit easier to move on from a guy when you learn you aren’t his first choice. There’s no hope of reconnecting or even wanting him back after that. Tell me you want to be with someone else, then bye. It hurts, but I definitely won’t want you back.

One of my best friends had a guy he was seeing dump him to pursue someone else. The guy came crawling back after things didn’t work out with the guy he chose. My friend was always full of paranoia and doubt about the relationship, since he always felt like a second choice. Eventually they broke up. I don’t think I could give a guy another chance after they left me for someone else, because I never want to always know I wasn’t their first choice.

Although I was devastated over being dumped, I wasn’t going to mope around. I had to jump back into the dating world. Not that I hadn’t already been hooking up with other guys while seeing EMT. EMT and I were never official. I could hookup with whoever I wanted.

First I went out to dinner with a guy visiting from LA. He was in town for a GLBT organization conference. We went out and grabbed a drink at The Eagle, before getting dinner at Mary Mac’s Tea Room.

The guy was nice, though I wasn’t really into him. He was also engaged but in an open relationship. My date was a big, black, 30 something year old bear, engaged to a younger white cub. Although his fiance was white, my date kept going on about how much he loves black men and wanted to get with as many as possible in Atlanta. I found it off putting. I reluctantly went back to his hotel after dinner, and he obviously wanted to hookup. I wasn’t in the mood. We chatted, cuddled, but I knew I wasn’t putting out. So I left.

The next guy I met up with we just chilled and smoked hookah at his place. It was a much more enjoyable encounter than the previous guy. I wanted to throw myself back into dating and random hookups, but the truth is I wasn’t that ready to put myself out there like that. I enjoyed just having someone to talk to with no sexual tension. It was nice to have a chill, relaxing encounter, and being able to open up to someone.

The next night I  was home and horny. I invited a random over, that I’d previously chatted with on Growlr. There’s a reason why our convos never lead to meeting, something seemed off about him. He was too aggressive, and kept trying to stick his dick in me raw. I made it clear I didn’t want to do anal, especially not without a condom. I didn’t come to Atlanta to get HIV. I had enough of him, and kicked him out.

The next day I went on a date. I wasn’t into him either. None of these rebound guys were clicking for me. I just didn’t feel any attraction, interest, or chemistry with anyone. I did feel a bit broken after the breakup. It’s hard to trust and open up to guys, when you feel like you’ve been lied to for an entire month thinking you were entering a relationship, only to be dumped because they’ve been plotting to get back with their ex while seeing you. Talk about trust issues.

After my bad date, I invited a guy over I’d been chatting with on Jack’d. I was originally planning on doing a quickie before heading to the club. He told me he wasn’t a quickie kinda guy, which I found sweet. I invited him over, and wasn’t expecting much. Sometimes the encounters you have the lowest expectations for turn out to be the best.

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