New Gay In Town: Summer of Love vs. Lust
By Branden Lee
Summer is the perfect time to be free. Free to fool around with a hot guy at a pool party. Free to find a fling at the beach. Free to party hard. Free to date around and have one-night stands. Free to travel and have hookups in new cities. Summer is the perfect time to be single, so of course, I ended up finding a guy I want to date.
I started seeing a new guy. We’ve been seeing each other for nearly a month. Our first two encounters were basically hookups, but we talk every day. I spent Memorial Day with him and his friends. He invited me to a barbeque at his place, which was really cute. No guy had ever invited me to a holiday cookout of his before. We finally had a real date where we went to dinner and a movie. He also came to an event I was co-hosting. He’s been very supportive, communicative, and I’m extremely attracted to him. I really like him, and he’s the first guy I’ve met since my ex that I want to be my boyfriend. I finally feel over my ex since I’ve finally found someone new that I want to be boo’d up with.
The only downside is that he’s a workaholic. He works practically every day. He even flaked on one of our dates so he could work more. Going from a broke, jobless guy to a guy that is a workaholic should feel like an upgrade, but at least broke jobless guys have time for relationships. Workaholics don’t. Which is our main issue. He wants to be exclusive and gets jealous at the thought of me still being on dating apps and hooking up with other guys. He’s made it clear he can’t dedicate himself fully to a relationship right now. Work and school are his priorities.
I refuse to be exclusive with a guy that’s not my boyfriend. Exclusivity is a boyfriend privilege. If you’re not my boyfriend, you don’t get that privilege. I want him to be my boyfriend, but I understand if he isn’t ready for a relationship. Some people are too busy for a relationship, and if you’re too focused on work/school/money, it’s hard to make love a priority. I can respect that. I just can’t respect wanting to lock me down without a title.
One way of looking at it is that it feels like a sign that I’m meant to be single this summer if the guy I want to be with can’t commit to a relationship. It means I should be free to date around. I’m finally fully over my ex. I’m ready to explore and be a thot all over Atlanta, and other cities I may travel to this summer. I definitely want to travel, and no vacation isn’t complete without a hookup with a guy in a new city. I should be happy that the relationship isn’t meant to be right now.
Unfortunately, I’m disappointed. I really like this guy. Summer could be fun just with one guy that I like and want to be with. We can go on cute dates throughout the city. We can go to various festivals, go to the beach, travel together. I’ve never gotten to do any of that with a boyfriend before. There’s still so much I never got to experience in a relationship, since I’ve only had one boyfriend and that was a dysfunctional mess. I’m ready for my second chance, to have a healthy functional, loving relationship. I’m ready for boyfriend #2.
Love finds you when you least expect it, and often it doesn’t work out because one party isn’t ready for it. I’m still optimistic that me and this new guy will eventually get to the right place and become an official couple. Until then I’m not compromising by being exclusive with a guy that doesn’t have time for me.
Summer is here, and I want to have fun. This is my first full summer in Atlanta, and it will also be the one-year-anniversary of me moving to the ATL. I plan to live it up regardless of my relationship status.
Branden Lee is a writer and actor living in Atlanta. Follow Branden on Instagram and Twitter @Brandensss. Watch Branden on his YouTube channel SexxxPerTease.