By Branden Lee
I was devastated after breaking up with Zimbabwe. I felt guilty because this breakup was my fault. If I only hadn’t made that stupid mistake of texting a guy, I once made out with after Zimbabwe and I made it clear to have no contact with guys from our pasts.
Thankfully, Zimbabwe was still talking to me, although he kept reiterating he was done. Zimbabwe kept saying that too much had happened, and he’d rather just go our separate ways. I wasn’t going to accept that. I loved Zimbabwe and was not going to let this be the end of us.
I’d call Zimbabwe daily just to see how he was since he just started a new job. I missed hearing his voice, and it was great to speak to him. We’d only been broken up for a few days, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I called Zimbabwe, and he said he was in my part of town. I invited him over. I was worried he’d decline, but luckily he agreed to stop by.
Things were awkward at first, but Zimbabwe and I have a connection where we can’t stay mad at each other for long. We worked things out, agreed to delete our apps, and start over. Zimbabwe and I spent the entire next day together, and things were good. It was just like how things had been before we broke up.
I had paranoia, though, I couldn’t shake. I just really wanted to know what Zimbabwe had been up to while we were apart. We weren’t broken up for that long, but he does have a tendency to re-download Jack’d whenever we would fight, and I was curious. Zimbabwe fell asleep with his phone open, and I couldn’t resist the urge to look through it.
At first, I just went through his photos. I was trying to resist the urge to read his texts, but then I couldn’t stop myself. I saw messages with random guys about hooking up, though it seemed like many texts were left unanswered, or Zimbabwe got frustrated and got bitchy with a guy that claimed he didn’t have any condoms or lube. I saw Zimbabwe text one of his exes “I need you,” which did bother me. Why was he telling another man he needed him as soon as he and I had broken up?
What really bothered me was seeing Zimbabwe had been texting the second guy we had a threesome with. I told Zimbabwe that the guy was off limits since it was clear the guy liked Zimbabwe. Their messages were clearly flirty and said they wanted to hook up again. It bothered me to see Zimbabwe had told the guy about our problems and Zimbabwe said I “didn’t appreciate” him.
I was also livid to see Zimbabwe had been talking to the other guy we had a threesome with earlier that day. After we had gotten back together again. It was obvious the guy wanted Zimbabwe, and he had texted him after we had just resumed our rule of no longer talking to guys that wanted us.
I couldn’t hold this in. I was guilty of snooping and shouldn’t have gone through Zimbabwe’s phone, but I was pissed he’d been talking to the guy, especially after we just got back together.
I woke Zimbabwe up to confront him. He got pissed I went on his phone, and I was pissed about what I had read. Things were uncomfortable the next day because we didn’t trust each other. Although I didn’t like what I saw, nothing was too incriminating, but Zimbabwe felt like I would always say I was going to change and act less crazy, but I would keep messing up.
We got to a civil point and even tried hooking up again. I know Zimbabwe is used to a more intense level of sex than I am, so I asked him for tips on how to suck his dick better since he’s uncut and I’m not that accustomed to uncut cocks. Then Zimbabwe told me to suck his dick like the guy from the threesome. And I was pissed again.
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Branden Lee is a writer and blogger now living in Atlanta. Follow Branden on Twitter and Instagram @Brandeness.