By Jamie Kirk
Let’s just jump right into it, I don’t care how much you try and convince yourself that “I love my freedom”, “I love not having someone to answer too”, or “I am just not the relationship type”. For most folks, none of these are true. Believe me; there are a ton of reasons and crappy moments why being in a relationship sucks donkey dick! Way too many to recite in this limited space. And there are an equal number of reasons why being single is challenging. However, in the spirit of this article, I cut down my “being single sucks” list to my top five reasons. Maybe another day in the not so distant future, we will do the top five reasons for being partnered or not single. But let’s just go with the flow for today.
- It’s Expensive
I am all for living alone but paying an electric bill alone, paying the cable bill alone, buying brunch, having drinks on Sunday Funday, and ordering take-out are all pretty expensive when you are single. There’s also the expense associated with blind dates. And these activities always come with the pitfall of the lame date with the ever-popular line of: “I never do this, but I left my wallet at home, I’ll pick it up next time” wink wink; and lo and behold there never seems to be a next time.
- No One to Listen to Your Complaining
Traffic, SEC football, the Falcons, Monday chest day at LA Fitness, car troubles. You can tell the dog or cat, but they kind of just look at you and think “I hope your crappy day is not going to impact my dinner time.” Even if you’re watching a TV show, you don’t have anyone to share how bad the storyline is or how bad the amateur singing contestant is doing. You might find yourself talking to the TV or shouting about the refs at a football game. But if your neighbors find out, you could see yourself being un-invited to the next pool party at the clubhouse.
- Social Media/Smart Phone Overload
When you are single, you have messages going out, coming in, tagged photos, friend requests, MMS messages, and Google events. Add to this mayhem all of the dating sites, log-in’s, passwords, Instagram, LinkedIn, apps for your phone and even old-school regular email. It is just too much to keep up with. Your head spins from all the messages. But as a single person, you have to be available to respond at a moment’s notice. The ethos of “no message shall go unreturned” can get pretty tiresome.
- You Have to Listen to the Word WE
When you are single, it never fails that everyone you know is dating or a “we.” That is: “we” love this, and “we” love that, and “we” went on vacation. Even if you have close friends that are miserable (like you were in your last relationship) and you both decide to exit; why is it that the friend suddenly decides to “work things out,” leaving you high and dry. When you are single you feel like you walk in alone and the music stops and everyone gives you that “poor thing” look. Of course, you are not alone because everyone has a few good friends and family. All the same, it sure can feel like you’re alone.
- You Feel Like a Loser
Let me be clear: you are not a loser. But when you reach a certain age you feel like you should have a partner. You sense you should be living in a highrise with your partner of X number of years, you should have “in-laws,” you should be buying quality food and fixing big dinners on Wednesday night to watch “Modern Family.” You should have all these things instead of the usual fare of fish sticks and Organic Truffle Cheddar Chips from Trader Joe’s. You know what? All of these “shoulds” we place on ourselves make us miserable. Because we feel we “should” be in a relationship, we feel a bit overwhelmed and frustrated when we are not.
- Bonus Reason
One has to kiss a lot of frogs. (No further explanation needed).
Obviously, every situation is different, and every person has reasons for BEing in a relationship and every person reasons for BEing single. It is not about what others deem as acceptable, or someone else’s list of “things that suck.” Whatever you decide for yourself has to work for you. Don’t pay attention to someone else’s “shoulds” or someone else’s “ Top Five Reasons Being Single Sucks” list – present company included. Create your own life path, your own process and march to the beat of your own music. That’s the only way true happiness will ever stumble upon you. The funny thing about happiness is that it doesn’t require, suggest or even care if you are single or in a relationship, happiness just cares that you just BE.