– because we all need a wise Lesbian BFF!
By Marci Alt
Sometimes you just need the advice of a seasoned queer woman in your life! I have never been a writer or blogger, however, but the opportunity to do this column with and for our community seemed to be indeed just what this tired, old LESBO was looking for. Each month I’ll answer your questions about anything and everything you might want to know about! Submit your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
When and what age is appropriate, for the ‘OMG my kid is at the age of experiencing some sexual activities?’ The latest example is seeing her neck with matching hickies on both sides! How do you talk openly to her or him about having of teenage sex? Really, my reason is not becoming a grandparent yet, as my kid is just a teenager.
Sincerely Sexually Rude Awakening
My first thought in this question is to stay calm with your teenager, as you want them to listen to what you are about to discuss. I find most teenagers tune you out when you try to discuss very personal things like sex with them! The approach I believe that works very well with my teenager and I is the consequence approach. Be smart about things before they get out of control, and please make sure you have all the necessary precautions like HPV shots, birth control, condoms readily available, as I believe abstinence won’t work if they already have hickies on their neck.
In the discussion with my teenager, I tried to be clear and strong. Because being grounded until you’re in college is really not an option, I explained how sex should be with someone you love and you see a future with. In our discussion, we discussed sex openly and calmly. I was very intrigued that my teenager participated in the conversation with me and assured me sex is not on her radar yet, and she agrees to all necessary precautions. For me, I was shocked and happy to find out she was taught in Middle School how to properly put on a condom (thanks sex education in Dekalb county!). I was very happy as this LESBO hasn’t used one in many years, so I’m happy I didn’t have to give examples of this!
All in all, just being an open parent and giving your child the freedom to talk about anything and everything is what made this somewhat tough conversation a very easy one.
I am a mature woman, and I have been out of the dating loop for so long. Where do I go to meet and talk to women for potential love?
Sincerely Sticking My feet in the Dating Pond
Well, in this day and age, I would say that the traditional methods of hitting the only woman’s bar in Atlanta, My Sisters Room (which is a fabulous bar btw) may not be the place for the over 40-year-old to find her match. Try on some internet dating, but beware of the scams and cat phishing from these sites. I also find that if you get involved with some volunteer work with local nonprofits, like Lost’n’Found Youth or Atlanta Pride, it will help with meeting others and give you a chance for your social skills to come alive again. Most importantly, be safe, wear a mask, don’t meet someone online, and have them come to your home. BE SMART about dating, and have fun with it.
Most importantly, be yourself, and let the magic come in! Dating can be fun and is good for your state of being.
Good luck, and I hope you find your match
Marci Alt is a household name within the Atlanta LGBTQ+ community – she created the The Gay Community Yellow Pages and runs the popular Gayborhood online platform. Being part of the community does not give her the experience alone to answer the questions on this page, but many years owning and running several successful businesses and being the parent of two amazing children certainly quantifies her knowledge, that she so generously shares with you in this column.
If you want to Ask the Lesbo, please email your questions email@example.com.