Q

It’s been two years, and I want to move in with my boyfriend. I’m tired of the endless planning, the bringing clothes back and forth, and the sleeping alone sometimes. I want to build a home together, so after two years, isn’t it time? I feel like it’s the next natural step in our relationship to share our lives like this. My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to wait and that he needs time and space for himself. I guess I’m ready for more commitment, and I’m scared that my boyfriend isn’t, and that he just wants to do this endless dating game. What should I do? Just wait for him to get ready? Or should I move on because things aren’t changing?

A

A big part of being in a relationship is trying to figure out how to be a couple despite all the differences between you. It is ok for your boyfriend to not wanting to move in with you just as it is okay for you for wanting to make a home together. The question is; can your differences on this be reconciled? Being in a relationship also means that you get to know each other better and better with time, so start by engaging in a talk as to why he is closed off to the idea of moving in together. If he is good at talking about other sensitive topics, then it shouldn’t be a problem. If he is unwilling to discuss your future plans, you have some deeper-rooted issues at hand. In that case, you can talk to him about why he is having difficulty even talking about it–it may not solve anything, but you’ll at least get to know him better. And that’s the whole point, right? And you’ll see if he is willing to deepen your relationship or not. If he continues to stay shut off from discussing sensitive or serious issues in your relationship, then many red flags point to the fact that he may not be interested in being any closer than you are right now. And that’s where you both must consider if it makes sense to part or not.

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