Q

I am in the fortunate situation that I can still work from home, and I am grateful, but there’s one catch: I jerk off a lot during the day. That probably sounds great to many guys, but the problem is that when my boyfriend comes over (we don’t live together), I am not in the mood for sex because I already got off multiple times during the day. I have tried limiting it, but it is so easy to watch porn online and get off. I have also tried just edging, but at some point, I ejaculate by accident, and after edging for hours and hours, I don’t feel like having sex. My boyfriend has been okay with it so far, but he is starting to complain that we hardly ever have sex when we finally get together. How can I get better at not getting off all the time?

A

By the sound of it, you have no impulse control if you can’t refrain from getting off, so you can have sex with your boyfriend. Masturbation is great to relieve stress during the day, but if it impedes on your actual sexual relationship, then it’s a problem. And needless to say, this shouldn’t have any impact whatsoever on your performance at work either. It seems almost adolescent that you just can’t stop masturbating, and you need to be an adult about it and try – and really try! – to focus on your work without watching porn and jerking off. Maybe you have forgotten how nice it is to have sex with an actual person, so your current default is the instant gratification of masturbation. Talk to your boyfriend about it, explain that you want to break this cycle so the two of you can have better (more!) sex. Maybe he can stop by in a lunch break before you rub one out, or you can have phone sex together. And if you really have that much time to masturbate during the day, maybe you should insist on getting more responsibilities at work.

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