Q

I just met this guy, and he is really great and very sexy. Well, sexy to look at because we haven’t had sex yet because he is very shy. We’ve made out a lot and done a bunch of on ‘top of clothing’ touching, but we haven’t even come close to going to the next level – and now it’s been three months! I’m sexually pretty liberated, so this was initially a turn on, but now it is becoming frustrating. I don’t want to be too forward with him, but I also want to take it to the next level and make him more comfortable around me. How do I show my interest without pushing too hard?

A

There are a lot of things to consider here. Did he come out late? Does he have a job that keeps him from being open and honest about his sexuality (they still exist, you know), or has he had bad experiences opening up and pushing past the shyness? You are doing the exact right thing with this guy by sticking to it and not applying pressure, so keep that up. Switch things up to create an environment that makes him more comfortable. Invite him to your house for a homemade meal or delicious takeout and let him know that you are very attracted to him, but you want to wait for him to overcome his shyness. If he is going through some issues with insecurity, you could be the person that he could open up to in more ways than one.

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