When you’re dating a guy who’s more into his own needs than yours, you can worry about fixing him, or worry about what you can control: you.
I’m dating a guy who is all about himself. I’m talking every conversation, every meal, situation about-him narcissist. The real trouble is, I date this same type of guy over and over. What’s my problem?
Raging Ego Persists Every Absurd Time
Whether this guy is a clinical narcissist or just a run-of-the-mill selfish gay man, let’s focus on what you can control: You.
It’s common for us to regularly attract the same type. Maybe you’re a “giver.” Plenty other guys out there would reciprocate, but instead you and selfish pricks attract each other like magnets. His selfish key fits your compliant hole.
Don’t give up being accommodating, but do learn to be a little more “selfish” to your own needs as well as his. Approach men, and your life, differently, and I’ll bet you start getting a different response.
I have a friend who’s always late. I’ve grown used to it, but he recently kept me and a new acquaintance waiting nearly an hour for dinner. We were starving by the time he got there, and my guest left with a bad impression of both of us.
My friend is full of excuses. How can I convince him that late isn’t cute?
So Upset Could Kill Really
Accepting occasional trouble with scheduling is part of life, but acceptance of his repeated behavior is also on you. Stop being a doormat to his habitual tardiness.
If your friend writes me, I’ll give him an earful about respecting people’s time, and how grown men are only as good as their word. But since you’re the one writing, I won’t help you try to fix him. That’s not your problem.
You can figure out your friend’s patterns and try to work around them. If he’s perpetually 30, 45, 60 minutes late, factor it in and tell him an earlier start time. If he then has to wait on you sometimes, all the better.
Another option is to continue your plans without him. Warn him how it’s going to be, and stick to your word. When he shows up late and you’re wrapping dinner, he may learn over time. He may not, but no one is left hungry but him.
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.