Being blunt isn’t necessarily bad. It sets aside BS in favor of communicating important points. Here’s how being blunt doesn’t mean ‘Rude,’ but instead, ‘Listen up.’
I wasn’t ready for him to ask me if I take it up the butt. I mean, talking dirty is one thing, but at the doctor’s office?
I’m new to Atlanta from Alabama, and I chose a gay doctor who came highly recommended. But I was aghast that getting to know me included the question, “So do you participate in anal sex, either giving or receiving?”
“Um. Excuse me?”
“Do you have sex in your butt or other guys’ butts?” he repeated with a deadpan look.
I mumbled something but basically couldn’t get out of there fast enough. How can I find a doctor who doesn’t flirt and gets my Southern sensibilities?
So Humiliated Over Clearly Kinky End to Decency
This is where some queens might say, “Get over yourself.” Instead, I’ll just welcome you to the big city – and to a doctor who’s not afraid to be clear about the health matters of sex.
Most doctors wouldn’t risk their livelihoods to hit on you, despite what you found on PornHub. Secondly, Southern Sex Shame like yours contributes to rising STD rates. Your doctor keeps it real so that he can gear testing, prevention and treatment to your needs.
Go back and tell him that you mistook your own embarrassment for a shortcoming on his part. My bet is that he’ll appreciate the bluntness.
My husband and I are monogamous, but we’ve all but stopped having sex. He cut back at the gym and since gaining 30 pounds, he won’t get undressed with the lights off, much less have sex.
How do I tell him that I still desire him?
Haven’t Orgasmed Right N Years
This is no time to mince words. Like I told SHOCKED above, frank talk is human code for “listen up.” You’re not helping him worry about his weight by tiptoeing around the issue. Acknowledge it and lay your desires on the table.
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.