By Vincent Shifflett

It seems I have written a lot about sex and relationships in the past three years. It was such a taboo subject growing up, so now I realize the importance of talking about it more. It is the big pink elephant in the living room that no one wants to talk about, yet it impacts us all.

I am constantly intrigued by the number of my readers that reach out to me with issues in their relationship because of sex or the lack thereof. So much so that I felt compelled to address it again and share my thoughts and experiences in an effort to create a dialogue that leads to healthier relationships.

So, sex. Is it important? 

Sex is very much part of our being. People have sex to feel desirable and attractive as well as to feel pleasure and feel alive. It is important for maintaining a vital aspect of human functioning and is used to achieve closeness with your partner and please them.

Sex facilitates bonding and feelings of intimacy with your partner. This type of connection does more than make you feel warm and fuzzy. It actually reduces anxiety and boosts overall health. It has been shown to decrease stress and lower the risk of cancer and heart attacks.

Human interest in sex is not a matter left to chance but more a built-in imperative. Survival of the species depends on it.

So, what happens when the sex dies in a relationship?  

Many people turn to cheating, hiding, and having affairs. Is it normal for the sex to die or become much less frequent? I would say yes. Therefore, it becomes important to be aware of that and have healthy conversations with your partner about ways to fulfill your sexual needs. In my experience, having an open, honest conversation is certainly healthier than the deceit, cheating, hiding, and secret affairs. Having a conversation is also healthier than pretending everything is fine.

Sex is a normal human desire. Stop trying to pretend it doesn’t matter. So many of you are reaching out to me in sexless relationships. I had a man reach out to me last week to say, “I haven’t had sex in 3 years.” He has been married for seven years. He expressed love for his partner but was troubled about the lack of intimate connection. It is essential for overall well-being.

How is your sex life? Are you fulfilled? When is the last time you had sex with the one you love? The physical and mental benefits have been well researched and proven. It is certainly not the most important thing in a relationship; however, it is an important aspect of our being.

It can be one of the most difficult topics to discuss but can ultimately bring couples closer together. Have the conversation today. Be honest with yourself. Start living a more fulfilled life in every area of your life, including your sex life. The key is to have the conversation.

Vince is an author, registered nurse, and blogger living in Atlanta. He routinely writes on matters affecting our physical, mental, and spiritual health as well as topics related to relationships. You can follow him on his website at vinceshifflett.com as well as on Facebook and Instagram.